The Complete Guide To Food References On BA Johnston’s ‘Shit Sucks’ Album

BA Johnston in his natural state. Photo cribbed from his Twitter.

BA Johnston in his natural state. Photo cribbed from his Twitter.

Shit Sucks by Hamilton, Ontario-based everyman BA Johnston was perhaps the most divisive album nominated for the 2015 Polaris Music Prize Long List and split critics, fans and Polaris followers into two clear camps.

The haters, of which there were many (including enough Polaris jurors that Shit Sucks failed to make the 10 album Polaris Short List), viewed Johnston’s album as schtick, an unfunny musical comedy by a pizza-obsessed loser.

The lovers, though, saw a lot more to Shit Sucks. To these people Johnston was and is funny. They created a Twitter movement on his behalf. They even enlisted the support of Hitler. For them, Johnston’s confessional songs poked at that same wounded, fragile humanity that made Rodney Dangerfield forever question why he couldn’t get no respect.

There is, however, an overlooked third faction in the Shit Sucks debate — foodies. See, in his own way, Johnston is a food connoisseur, a man who has immortalized t-bone steaks, garlic fingers, english muffins and western sandwiches in song, and who dreams of having a deep fryer in his bedroom.

For these people Shit Sucks reveals many unexpected and often melted cheese-laden delights. We put on our best chili boots and decided to track all the food references on BA Johnston’s Shit Sucks album. The results were… delicious:

“Couch Potato Alright”
* cool ranch
* pocket Cheezees
* double dipped corn chips

“I Remember Skinny Jeans The Last Time Around”
* Foodland

“When Is Trash Day?”
* cat food tins
* pizza boxes
* buffalo wings
* burnt toast

“Pizza Party For One”
* pizza
* Little Caesars, Salvatore’s, Uncle Fatty’s, Cutthroat’s, Chicago Style, Pizza Perfect, Nino’s
* pepperoni

“I Don’t Want To Go To The No Frills”
* Oreos
* butter
* steak
* meat
* Dr. Oetker pizza
* Shreddies
* Faygo soda

“Gonna End Up Working In Fort McMurray”
* Pizza Hut

“Bat In The House”
* Delissio pizza
* pizza

“The Commute”
* Special K
* Tim Horton’s coffee
* McDonald’s coffee

“IKEA Hotdog”
* IKEA hotdogs

“Drinking On My Mom’s Dime”
*Golden Wedding

“Old And Lame”
* food court
* a submarine sandwich he’s too high to eat
* 7/11
* chocolate milk

“Nuke Toronto”
* nothing good to eat

“What A Wonderfully Mediocre Day”
* beers
* no name ruffles
* chip dip
* Foodland
* discounted garlic bread
* garlic
* margarine
* bread

“You Can Love Someone And Hate The Things They Love”
* assorted subs

“Shitty Cat”
* taco meat
* tomato patch

“BK Has A New King”
* Burger King
* Whopper Jr
* Whopper Wednesday
* Big Fish sandwich
* Whopper
* Water
* Soda Pop

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Dirty Heads Walk The Walk With Oxfam

Dirty Heads

Dirty Heads

Reggae rock band Dirty Heads have decided that with their new album Sound Of Change they want to do their part to spread some good in the world.

To do that they’ve been teaming up with international anti-poverty charity Oxfam for a number of initiatives.

The band’s lead singer Dirty J told me all about the motivation for this charity work for a feature in Samaritanmag.

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Great Moments In Dance Fighting

Michael Jackson dance fighting

Michael Jackson dance fighting

You’ve seen this unique phenomenon form hundreds of times in the playgrounds and the parking lots, in videos and in movies, and it always starts in a similar manner.

Two steely-eyed adversaries slide closer and closer to each other, the tension mounts, and when there’s only inches separating them… BAM! It happens.

The wild gestures, the improbably contorting, the acts of gyrating menace. This is… a dance fight.

Sarah wrote a brief history of dance fighting for Fightland.

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A Brief History Of Humans Wrestling Octopi

Octopus wrestling

Octopus wrestling

While some of us have conceded that man’s hubris and the inevitable collapse of humanity will lead to the age of cephalopod rising in the not-too-distant future, there are still people who yearn for nothing more than a good ol’ fight with an octopus.

Because, of course.

Sarah wrote about the peculiar history of octopus wrestling for Fightland.

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Ant Man Ruined My Moment Of Twitter Glory

The red arrow points to 'Polaris2015' trending second in Canada

The red arrow points to ‘Polaris2015′ trending second in Canada

There are a couple reasons why Risky Fuel has been unusually quiet in recent weeks.

The first was because Sarah and I went to the family cottage for our annual 10-day hideout/detox/escape/reason to photograph dead fish on the beach.

The second was, upon returning to the city, diving headlong into my responsibilities as the minister of propaganda for the Polaris Music Prize and its kinda-a-big-deal 2015 Short List reveal which took place on July 16.

The 10 albums on said Short List turned out to be a mighty fine cross-section of music well worth arguing over. More important to my professional vanity, however, was how hot we were with #Polaris2015 on the socials and the medias and such.

It turns out we were very hot. As in #1 hot. Well, #1 except for one thing hot…

A fucking Ant-Man promoted tweet.

Nearly four hours after the Short List was revealed on the 16th #Polaris2015 was still holding the #2 spot (see above photo), which, when you think about it, is an amazing coup for a few Polaris peeps like myself working behind the curtain and a bunch of Polaris jurors ranting about it on Twitter. We were even smashing the Emmys in Canada.

Anyway, back to Ant Man, the third stupidest Avenger behind only Gilgamesh, a guy with a cow on his head, and Demolition Man, a sadsack composed of leftover parts from discarded Wolverine and Daredevil action figures. Basically, all my Polaris efforts got crushed underfoot from one mighty Giant Man-like stomp by the Marvel-Disney Industrial Complex and this means I’ll probably never get the professional respect I deserve for my efforts last week.

I’m not bitter, but I’m pretty sure this is the sort of thing that acts as a catalyst for people to become supervillains. So if somewhere, somehow, in the darkest reaches of the internet you start to hear whispers of a foul 01010 spirit named Twittroll, whose power is to hijack brand promo tweets with foreign language Baywatch fanclub Twitter mobs, well, it wasn’t me.



[P.S. I’m pretty sure I’m still going to go see Ant-Man.]

[P.P.S. If dorksticks like Ant-Man get movies, there should definitely be films based on way more awesome people like Alpha Flight, The Micronauts and ROM, Space Knight.]

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Jake Gyllenhaal’s ‘Southpaw’ Workout

Jake Gyllenhaal

Jake Gyllenhaal

Jake Gyllenhaal’s new boxing movie Southpaw has been subject to intense scrutiny from the fight community.

One area they’re particularly intrigued by is Gyllenhaal’s workout regime.

In true method actor form he committed to his role.

Sarah wrote about the ways Gyllenhaal did so in an article for Fightland.

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Ronda Rousey’s Truth-Hurts Floyd Mayweather Burn

Ronda Rousey

Ronda Rousey

UFC fighter Ronda Rousey used the ESPY Awards to unleash a cuttingly perfect burn on monied boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. and his predisposition towards domestic violence.

It was, apparently, a burn Rousey had been waiting to unleash for a year.

Sarah wrote about the zinger for Fightland

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