Things I Ate At The C.N.E. In 2010

I had some of this big Coca-Cola. It was just your average corn syrup-based fountain Coke. 3/10… I was thirsty.

The infamous deep fried mac ‘n’ cheese is mighty boring. The exterior has an interesting crunchy contrast to the gooey/borderline overcooked interior, but there’s zero flavour. Save your dough. 4/10

The innards of the infamous deep fried mac ‘n’ cheese. 4/10

This pickle slice came from Sarah’s grilled cheese meal. Solid, if unspectacular. 5.8/10

Mama’s Pizza pizza on a stick. Do NOT let yourself get fooled by this gimmick like I was. It’s just normal pizza. With a paint stir stick in it. 5/10

This plain crinkle chip came from Sarah’s grilled cheese meal. I hate plain chips. They contribute nothing to the world. 2/10

Deep fried Mars bar. This was a pretty good time, though you need to be careful eating it because it slides on its skewer and you end up covered in icing sugar powder. 7.2/10

Here’s the stick from the Mama’s Pizza pizza on a stick. 1/10

This lineup is why I didn’t try any of the chocolate covered bacon, deep fried butter or deep fried twinkie.

I tried to find something to drink that “wasn’t owned by Coca-Cola.” The best I could do was Minute Maid lemonade… which means I didn’t do well at all. 5/10

Waffle ice cream sandwich. I was most looking forward to this but the deep fried Mars bar ended up being better. Notice the photobomb cameo from Crazy Frog. 6.8./10

Chocolate-vanilla fudge. Good stuff, but it faces a losing battle because it’ll never match my grandmother’s. 6.7/10

Orange cream fudge. I thought it would taste like Creamsicle but it tastes like Fruit Loops. 6.7/10

Deep fried butter. Yes, I did it. Sarah and I went for a second trip to the Ex, got there early and got in line for this food wonder. It wasn’t the horror show I was expecting. It was kinda like a pancake/timbit/cruller with a thoroughly melted, buttery and batter-y inner shell (the centre is hollowed because the butter melts into its surrounding batter). 5.5/10

This was the Twinkle Log from the same place. I’m not a Twinkie fan and was hoping for a major bam-up. A chocolate dip and some nuts isn’t it. 3.2/10

Coke Zero, because I didn’t want Coke. 3/10

Free Hidden Valley ranch dressing sample with carrots. Glorious, glorious vegetables. It was like a little dose of sanity in my deep fried adventure. 6/10

Corn Dogs are always a good time. An all-beef weiner would improve these things by a large margin, but it was OK. 5.7/10

Free sample Fruit Twists!

The Fruit Twists were shaped like licorice and tasted like Fruit Roll-Up meets strawberry jam. Which makes total sense, I guess. 5.7/10

Free sample of Europe’s Best peach smoothie. I generally hate peaches but this ended up being alright. Not too peachy, not too weird in the smoothie texture. 6.1/10

Taco In A Bag. I tried this… so you don’t have to. It was a bag of Doritos with a mess of taco ingredients thrown in there. Think sub-nacho with a high potential for messy fingers. And the hamburger was cold. At least there was some guacamole. 5.5/10

Barq’s Root Beer. Root beer is alright in my books. 5/10

Butterfly Wings potato shavings. I had very little faith these would be any good owing to my hatred of plain potato chips, but man was I wrong. The fresh-from-the-fryer-sligh​tly-chewy-texture vibe of these was amazing. 6.7/10

Candy Floss flavoured ice cream. The candy floss was pretty subtle. 6.2/10

Monkey Crunch flavoured ice cream. I’m not sure what the “monkey crunch” was, but most of it was simple chocolate ice cream. 6.4/10