For various reasons I wasn’t quite able to go to town on the food at the Canadian National Exhibition in the same way as last year, but I still managed to leave a solid lump of fatty battered products in my belly.
Here’s what I ate at The Ex this year:
A litre of cola. I’ve stopped trying to fight the omnipresence of Coke products. 3.6/10.
This corn dog was better than the one we had last year. Got this from the vendor inside the Food Building who specialized in deep frying stuff and there was clearly a higher level of expertise than when hitting the midway deep fryer people. 6.1/10.
This was the Jolly Rancher Blue Rasberry Ice Beverage. Or, if you’ve got a kid, you tell them you’re drinking Smurf blood. There was a weird candy/chemical aftertaste to this. 5.8/10
… But drinking Smurf blood did have one pretty entertaining side-effect. This super-blue tongue of mine lasted almost 24 hours.
This would be the Deep Fried Twix. I love Twix like a fat kid loves Twix, but deep frying it didn’t really bam things up at all and the “cookie” part ended up being a bit of an obstacle. Last year’s Deep Fried Mars Bar remains superior. 6.5/10
Barq’s Root Beer. You know if you buy this jug from the Coke booth you get refills for $2.50, right? 5/10.
Fried Egg And Cheese Sandwich. After some middling experience with the Mac ‘N’ Cheesery’s deep fried mac ‘n’ cheese last year, Sarah opted for the fried egg ‘n’ cheese sandwich instead. It was the right choice. Instead of pulling gross macaroni from a vat, they made this sandwich fresh. Also, it came with chips and a pickle. 5.9/10.
I had a Deep Fried Pickle. And it wasn’t bad either. Adding some ranch dressing to dip was a nice touch, too. 6.4/10.
And yes, there was a pickle hidden in that Deep Fried Pickle.
This would be Sarah’s Double Grilled Cheese Hamburger, which was two grilled cheese sandwiches with a hamburger in the middle. I had to eat half for her. This thing was quite unwieldy and a good four inches high. It didn’t reach such heights in flavour, though. 5.3/10.
Vachon’s Ah Caramels are one of my favourite foods ever and I can consume a whole box at once given the opportunity. As it turns out, however, deep frying does these treats a disservice. This was sadly underwhelming, if that’s a word. 6/10.
The coagulated innards of the Deep Fried Ah Caramel post-one bite.
And the headliner… the Krispy Kreme Hamburger — two Krispy Kreme donuts with a hamburger inbetween. It turns out this wasn’t all that bad. The donuts are tasty and, because I didn’t put any condiments or garnishes on it save for lettuce and tomato, most of the tastes were relatively complimentary. The only real drawback was — considering my borderline pathological hatred of getting my hands dirty from food — the weak-ass structural integrity of the whole thing. Basically, it’s messy as fuck. Which means you have to fight your way to the Ex bathrooms to wash your hands after. Still, it wasn’t gross. 6.4/10.
Things I ate at the CNE in 2016. Bug Bistro’s Bug Dog and Fran’s Blueberry Milkshake with a slice of real blueberry pie.
Things I ate at the CNE in 2015. Including Frosted Flakes Chicken On A Stick and The S&M Burger.
Things I ate at the C.N.E. in 2014. Including Cocoa Chicken and the Thanksgiving Turkey Waffle.
Things I ate at the C.N.E. in 2013. Including Nutella Jalapeno Poppers and the S’more Dog.
Things I ate at the C.N.E. in 2012. Including the Chocolate Eclair Dog and Bacon Nation Nutella BBBLT.
Things I ate at the C.N.E. in 2010. Including Deep Fried Butter and Taco In A Bag.