Tag Archives: Justin Bieber

20 Best Bieber Moments Of 2012

Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber

Normally we here at Risky Fuel don’t care much either way for Justin Bieber, but when Sarah was tasked with putting together a list of the 20 best Bieber moments of 2012 everything changed.

See, if you disregard his music, just take it out of the equation entirely, and focus on only the weird and outlandish things he gets himself involved in, you’ve got some gold.

So, to read about the chrome-plated car he gave away to Sean Kingston, how disease scientists tracked his popularity like a legitimate infection, or how he vomited onstage head over to Huffington Post Music Canada by clicking here.

 

 

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Filed under Music, Shameless Promotion, The Misadventures Of

Delta Let Someone Steal My Luggage And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

Delta Airlines

Delta Airlines

Just over a week ago, someone waltzed into the baggage claim area of McCarran International Airport, yanked my suitcase from the carousel and disappeared into the night with my well-cultivated collection of dresses, cardigans, Judas Priest merchandise, and size four shoes.

Because I lack vision, I thought that this was a bad thing.

The staff at Delta Airlines, with their tough love approach to customer service, were more than willing to help me see the error of my ways. While other airlines might mollycoddle customers with profuse – and maybe even genuine – apologies for permanently losing an entire suitcase full of their worldly possessions and cash vouchers to cover any undue expenses, Delta prefers to address the very heart of the issue and offer you Important Life Lessons about materialism and the impermanence of life.

“It happens,” the woman behind the counter callously told me when I asked her if it was really possible that someone had stolen my baggage right off the carousel. And then she handed me The Bag.

At the time, I thought that the woman at the counter was being disinterested and rude because she was unprofessional. Now that I have come to understand the true power and potential of The Bag, I realize that she was probably just unable to contain her violent jealousy. And I forgive her.

The Bag is many things, you see.

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It is, to the naked eye, just an unassuming vinyl bag packed with basic amenities like a travel-sized antiperspirant, two whole cotton balls, a t-shirt, a toothbrush, and the world’s tiniest tube of toothpaste. But it’s also so much more. It is a lesson in resilience, and proof that you don’t need a whole suitcase full of ostentatious consumer goods and grown-up sized products from apothecaries to enjoy a week-long vacation or look like a decently groomed human being. It is an inspiring exercise in creativity, forcing you to Think Outside Of The Box in regards to your styling choices. Most importantly, though, it is the vessel through which I was exposed to The T-Shirt.

The T-Shirt, you see, is the most important fashion tool of all time. Whether you’re clubbing at Lavo, attending a fancy dinner at one of Vegas’s many fine dining establishments, or lounging poolside at the Wynn, it is the perfect choice. It is, in fact, the only piece of clothing that you will ever need.

Here are just a few of the looks I rocked in Las Vegas once Delta and some random ne’er-do-well freed me from the chains of my material goods.

(Apologies for my face in most of these shots. Having your luggage stolen tends to mess with your sleeping habits and it’s impossible to cover up the subsequent puffiness and mess when your makeup was in said luggage.)

The Basics

The T-Shirt can, of course, be worn as a basic, every day t-shirt.

I am tired and weary because I have not yet discovered the extent of The T-Shirt's magic.

I am tired and weary because I have not yet discovered the extent of The T-Shirt’s magic.

You can also dress it up with one of your miniature amenities. I was partial to the toothbrush.

The toothbrush alone was probably worth a good fifteen cents. Score!

The toothbrush alone was probably worth a good fifteen cents. Score!

The Basic Variations

The easiest way to sex up The T-Shirt is to let its enormous, gaping neck drift to one side and show a little clavicle. It’s Flashdance with a sleek, post-millennial twist!

What a feeling, indeed.

What a feeling, indeed.

Once you’re comfortable with that first step into the brave new world of T-Shirt fashion, you can experiment with the sleeves. Try rolling them up for a fun and flirty look!

This one's great for showing off your "I'm drowning my baggage sorrows in unlimited white whine sangria at brunch" bloat.

This one’s great for showing off your “I’m drowning my baggage sorrows in unlimited white whine sangria at brunch” bloat.

Formal Wear

 Want something a little more fancy? Whip off your pants, slap on a belt and you’ve got yourself a pretty party dress!
You can class this up even more with a pair of Walgreen's kids socks.

You can class this up even more with a pair of Walgreen’s kids socks.

Or you can slide both of your arms through the gigantic neck (this won’t even stretch it!) and tie the sleeves behind you. Suddenly, you have an adorable strapless number on your hands!

My photographer/mom made me put my pants back on after that last shot.

My photographer/mom made me put my pants back on after that last shot.

Find the sleeve bow too cutesy for your tastes? Untie it and slip the sleeves inside out for the super popular formal dress with pockets look!

Just don't put anything in them, or you'll lose your pocket contents like they're baggage on a Delta carousel!

Just don’t put anything in them, or you’ll lose your pocket contents like they’re baggage on a Delta carousel!

Or, if you prefer the whole asymmetrical thing, you can mix and match. This was a personal favourite of mine.

From the front.

From the front.

Hot pocket action.

Hot pocket action.

Retro Chic

Think you need pricey plaid or a Hypercolor shirt to be a part of the hot new ’90s revival that’s sweeping the fashion world? Think again.

Grab one end of The T-Shirt’s undulating folds and tie it to one side for a classic pre-millennial vibe.

Doesn't it make you want to throw on Dance Mix '92 and do The Running Man?

Doesn’t it make you want to throw on Dance Mix ’92 and do The Running Man?

Or you can grab the bottom edge, thread it through the neck and pull for a more obscure blast from the past. I call this one The Sophie B Hawkins, because it reminds me of that summer I spent listening to “Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover,” watching 90210, and ruining the collar of my precious Vuarnet shirt trying to perfect the style.

"Damn, I Wish Delta Was My Airline (So That They Would Lose My Luggage And Give Me A T-Shirt, Too"

“Damn, I Wish Delta Was My Airline (So That They Would Lose My Luggage And Give Me A T-Shirt, Too”

Accessories 

 The T-Shirt can also be used to dress up any clothing that didn’t get stolen because you were wearing it on the plane.

Now, I didn’t actually use the Wynn’s famous golf course while I was staying there but, if I had, I would have been prepared with this playful take on the old sweater-around-the-neck standard.

"The Country Club"

“The Country Club”

As I’m a little younger and more free-spirited than the usual golf crowd, I preferred this variation. Pull both sleeves and the neck over your head for a stable and stylish cape!

I'll just let this one speak for itself.

I’ll just let this one speak for itself.

Or scoot the whole concoction around to the front for one of those stupid t-shirt scarves that the hipster kids love so much these days!

Well, they can't all be gems.

Well, they can’t all be gems.

You can also roll The T-Shirt and fashion it into an angelic headband.

Isn't this darling?

Isn’t this darling?

Or squish it into a random mess and do whatever it is I’ve got going on here.

I think I've got one of the sleeves wrapped around my head here. I really can't explain or justify the rest.

I think I’ve got one of the sleeves wrapped around my head here. I really can’t explain or justify the rest.

While The T-Shirt is the ultimate fashion tool, you shouldn’t stop that from expanding your vision to other parts of The Bag. Or even The Bag itself. Here, I’ve fashioned The Bag into a delightful pillbox hat for a classic flight attendant homage.

As a tribute to the Delta staff, I've wearing my best "I really don't care about your stolen luggage" expression.

As a tribute to the Delta staff, I’ve wearing my best “I really don’t care about your stolen luggage” expression.

Poolside

photo-23

If you were silly and frivolous enough to pack a bathing suit in your carry on, or to buy one for $15 at the nearby outlet mall, The T-Shirt also makes an excellent coverup.

Many of the dress options translate very well here. I turned The T-Shirt inside out for a slightly avant-garde touch.

If I wear a bikini, my photographer/mother no longer cares if I have pants, apparently.

If I wear a bikini, my photographer/mother no longer cares if I have pants, apparently.

You can tie one side up into various positions for a crazy touch!

Here's whatever the hell this is.

Here’s whatever the hell this is.

And then there's this. They looked different and awesome in the bathroom mirror! I swear!

And then there’s this. They looked different and awesome in the bathroom mirror! I swear!

Or you can pull the whole thing down around your waist and make yourself a skirt.

It didn't look so much like a diaper in person.

It didn’t look so much like a diaper in person.

Lingerie

Did you pack yourself something sexy for your significant other/one night playmate/girl you found on a card some guy in a hoodie gave you on the strip? Don’t despair! The T-Shirt is here to put more spice back into your life than any piece of lace, leather or mesh could ever manage.

Sexiness is mostly mental, anyway. So just put on The T-Shirt in whatever naughty permutation you prefer, hop in a giant bathtub and flash your significant other/one night playmate/girl you found on a card some guy in a hoodie gave you your best come hither look.

Or whatever the hell it is I'm doing here.

Or you can do whatever the hell it is I’m doing here.

The Next Level

 If you’re really, really cool and boundary-pushing, this is the only way to wear The T-Shirt:

Slide one leg into each sleeve, pull the bottom edge around your waist and secure. What do you have?

JUSTIN BIEBER PANTS

JUSTIN BIEBER PANTS

JUSTIN BIEBER PANTS.

JUSTIN BIEBER PANTS

JUSTIN BIEBER PANTS

You, too, can get your very own T-Shirt and embark on this stylish and rewarding journey. All you have to do is pack all of your favourite clothes and accessories into a suitcase and fly somewhere shady. Las Vegas is always a good option, seeing as how it now ranks fifth in TSA firings for theft.

And make sure that you fly Delta, because those other namby pamby airlines might try to cheat you with bogus offerings like money to compensate for your so-called inconvenience.

You’ll have to act fast if you want to stay on the cutting edge of fashion with me, though. On my last day in Vegas, I noticed that my hot new look was already catching on.

T-Shirt Mania is running wild!

T-Shirt Mania is running wild!

 

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Justin Bieber’s Boo-Gate Conspiracy Theory At The 100th Grey Cup

Justin Bieber at the Grey Cup

Justin Bieber at the Grey Cup

Last week I got to attend the 100th Grey Cup under the guise of covering the Justin Bieber half-time show. It was pretty exciting for me in part because the Toronto Argonauts were in the final (and won!) and because going to a Grey Cup game was on my list of things that every Canadian must do at least once.

The big story that came out of the half-time show was that Bieber got booed mercilessly (read my onsite report).

That statement is… inexact.

Did Justin Bieber get booed? Yes and sort of.

Here’s what happened: During a stoppage in play somewhere between mid-1st quarter and mid-2nd quarter the Skydome (nobody calls it “Rogers Centre” except Rogers employees) showed a giant image of Bieber and Carly Rae Jepsen on the Jumbotron with some sort of “Stay tuned for Justin Bieber and Carly Rae Jepsen at the 100th Grey Cup half-time show…”-type message.

THIS got super-booed. As in, everyone in the arena was really loudly booing.

The game continued. Then came the half-time show.

The stage got built, which took about five minutes, then Gordon Lightfoot played on a small riser far removed from the main stage. During this time half the stadium emptied out to go get beer/food/pee break. Meanwhile, somewhere in this time frame about 300 screaming girls were unleashed on to the field to surround the main stage. Then Marianas Trench played (who were wretched, truly awful). Then Jepsen played. Then Bieber.

Besides a short burst of teen girl screaming when Bieber hit the stage and a bit of gauzy, unfocused low end rumble that could have been booing, the crowd noise during Bieber was relatively inaudible.

Bieber’s face on the jumbotron during the game = super-booed. His half-time performance = not so much.

Now, an audio-minded conspiracy theorist could suppose all sorts of things from this. First off, in advance of the Grey Cup game the Argos had been practicing with crowd noise pumped through the Skydome speakers — the assumption being that the ‘Dome would be hella loud during the game and when the Argos would be on defence the noise would disrupt their opponents the Calgary Stampeders plans if they couldn’t hear themselves.

During the actual game Argos players and cheerleaders were constantly whooping and encouraging to the crowd to make noise when Calgary had the ball. This is all pretty standard football stuff. Nothing nefarious there.

But what if the stadium was miked for crowd audio (for a high-profile televised sports event… this is a certainty) and during the big game the home team, on their home field, fed some of that crowd audio back into the stadium soundsystem to make the crowd noise seem louder? There’s a long sports tradition of home team fans, hoteliers, venue staff, etc trying to mess with visiting teams before and during big games (painting the visiting team’s dressing room the day before an NHL playoff game is a thing home arena staff do to the away team), so touching up the audio to help the Argos — who practiced to anticipate said noise — is well within the realm of possibility.

So how does this relate to Bieber? Well, what if that jumbotron flash earlier in the game was a test of the “augmented” audio the stadium was using? So when the super-booing happened the decision was made to completely dampen crowd audio during Bieber’s performance — just turn it right down — be it boos or cheers. Which would explain the relatively mute sounding crowd during the half-time performance.

Now, have I investigated this? Talked to people? Dug further? No.

This is mostly just tin foil hat-wearing with a minor in event trolling. I don’t actually care enough to investigate further beyond the 20 minutes it took to write this. So take it for what it is, nothing more.

By the way, I actually did write about Bieber’s performance for Huffington Post Music Canada. The story — in which pretty much everyone has ignored the obvious sports analogy-as-defense-of-Bieber — has resulted in a fiery comment war based on gnarled CFL fans vs. teenagers lines. You can read, and comment on it, by clicking here.

Here’s the performance, filmed by someone in the Rogers Centre — not via the television feed (which would have had tinkered crowd audio). Decide for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlcBBsXT11Y

 

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Filed under Concerts, Jock Stuff, Music, Shameless Promotion, Television

Grey Cup Music: Analyzing The Most “Football” Songs By The Artists Playing This Weekend’s CFL Festival

Grey Cup 2012

Grey Cup 2012

Toronto has been overrun this weekend by Canadian Football League fans partying it up in advance of tonights 100th Grey Cup competition between the Toronto Argonauts and Calgary Stampeders.

Those parties have also meant the CFL bringing in a ton of bands for street festivals, ticketed concerts, and during the game’s halftime show tonight, performances by Justin Bieber and Gordon Lightfoot.

We combed through the Grey Cup festival schedule and tried to figure out what was the most “football” song by the artists playing this weekend. Then we wrote about them for Huffington Post Music Canada.

To read the story, click here.

 

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MMVA 2012: Carly Rae Jepsen Day

Carly Rae Jepsen and Katy Perry at the MMVAs

Carly Rae Jepsen and Katy Perry at the MMVAs

Sarah was assigned to cover the 2012 MuchMusic Video Awards on Sunday for AOL Music Blog.

This was mostly fine because it was basically a Carly Rae Jepsen coming out party and she’s relatively onside for the CRJ.

She was somewhat less onside for the latest crop of Much VJs (who are these people?), but whatcha gonna do? MuchMusic is firmly demographic television these days.

To read her recap, click here.

 

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Filed under Concerts, Shameless Promotion, Television