Category Archives: Food

People Who Text While Driving Officially Declared Worst Humans Of 2015

People who text while driving are the worst humans.

People who text while driving are the worst humans.

People who text while driving are officially the Worst Humans of 2015.

These road menaces beat out people who aren’t actually gluten allergic in the final round of the 2015 Worst Human March Madness poll earlier today, scoring 58 per cent of the popular vote vs. wheatophobes.

The victory capped a thoroughly dominating tournament for horrible texting drivers, having beaten people who don’t cover their mouth while coughing by a decisive 80-20% vote count in The FU 4 round, pummeling frequent selfie takers 69-31% in The Awful 8 round, dismantling road rage drivers 84-16% in The Shit 16 round, smacking down people who are always late 71-29% in round two, and in what would be their closest contest, defeating people who park in handicap spaces by 53-47% in the opening round.

Society has now spoken. Let this be a lesson to all who text while driving.

Click the image directly below to see the full Worst Human bracket results.

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

 

PREVIOUS ROUND RESULTS

The FU 4

April 2

See results.

The Awful 8

April 1

See results.

The Shit 16 Recap

March 31

See results.

Second Round Recap

March 29

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference / Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference

See results.

March 30

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference / Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference

See results.

First Round Recap

March 25

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference, round one… See results.

March 26

Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference, round one… See results.

March 27

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference… See results.

March 28

Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference… See results.

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2015 Worst Human Poll Final: Not Gluten Allergic vs. Texts While Driving

Not actually gluten allergic vs. Texts while driving

Not actually gluten allergic vs. Texts while driving

The polls have closed on The FU 4 round (LINK TO RESULTS BELOW). Which means we are now down to the final two contestants in the 2015 Worst Human poll…

Not actually gluten allergic vs. Texts while driving

To vote on which of these is worst, go here…

VOTE FOR THE WORST HUMAN OF 2015

Note: Because it’s Easter weekend and because it took Jesus three full days to rise again, we think it’s only fair that there be three days of voting for the Worst Human finale. Therefore, the polls for this one will stay open until Sunday, April 5 at 8 am ET.

Click the image directly below to see the full Worst Human bracket (current to April 3, 2015).

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

The Worst Human Finals

Voting begins at midnight on Friday, April 3, ends Sunday, April 5 at 8 am ET

The FU 4

PAST RESULTS

April 2

See results.

The Awful 8

April 1

See results.

The Shit 16 Recap

March 31

See results.

Second Round Recap

March 29

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference / Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference

See results.

March 30

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference / Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference

See results.

First Round Recap

March 25

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference, round one… See results.

March 26

Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference, round one… See results.

March 27

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference… See results.

March 28

Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference… See results.

VOTE FOR THE WORST HUMAN OF 2015

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2015 Worst Human March Madness Poll: Vote On The FU 4

Vote to determine the worst human

Vote to determine the worst human

UPDATE: The results for the FU 4 matchups:

Texts while driving is worse than not covering your mouth while coughing… 80-20%
Not actually being gluten allergic is worse than Crossfit cultists… 65-35%

The 2015 Worst Human final will be…

Texts while driving vs. Not actually gluten allergic

———-

The polls have closed on The Awful 8 round (LINK TO RESULTS BELOW). We are now amongst the truly Worst Humans… The FU 4. The two matchups in The FU 4 Worst Human semi-final are:

Texts while driving vs. Doesn't cover mouth while coughing

Texts while driving vs. Doesn’t cover mouth while coughing

Not actually gluten allergic vs. Crossfit cultists

Not actually gluten allergic vs. Crossfit cultists

To vote on which of these is worst, go here… VOTE FOR THE WORST HUMAN - THE FU 4 Click the image directly below to see the full Worst Human bracket (current to April 2, 2015).

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

The FU 4

April 2

Voting begins at midnight, ends at 11:59 pm ET

The Awful 8

April 1

See results.

PAST RESULTS

The Shit 16 Recap

March 31

See results.

Second Round Recap

March 29

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference / Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference

See results.

March 30

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference / Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference

See results.

First Round Recap

March 25 Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference, round one…

See results.

March 26 Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference, round one…

See results.

March 27

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference…

See results.

March 28

Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference…

See results.

VOTE FOR THE WORST HUMAN - THE FU 4

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2015 Worst Human March Madness Poll: Vote On The Awful 8

Vote to determine the worst human

Vote to determine the worst human

UPDATE: Results for The Awful 8 matchups

Texting while driving is worse than frequent selfie taking… 69-31%
Not covering your mouth while coughing is worse than bad tipping … 53-47%
Crossfit cultists are worse than people who tell you to smile more… 53-47%
Not actually being gluten allergic is worse than smelling like pee… 51-49%

———

The polls have closed on The Shit 16 round (LINK TO RESULTS BELOW). This means we’re getting down to the seriously Worst Humans… The Awful 8.

This also means it’s time to start voting on the four quarter-final matchups that make up The Awful 8:

Texts while driving vs. Frequent selfie takers
Doesn’t cover mouth while coughing vs. Aggressively bad tippers
Tells you to smile more vs. Crossfit cultists
Smells like pee vs. Not actually gluten allergic

Got an opinion on who you think is the worst human? The polls are now open, so vote on it…

VOTE FOR THE WORST HUMAN - AWFUL 8

Click the image directly below to see the full Worst Human bracket (current to April 1, 2015).

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

The Awful 8

April 1

Voting begins at midnight, ends at 11:59 pm ET

PAST RESULTS

The Shit 16 Recap

March 31

See results.

Second Round Recap

March 29

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference / Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference

See results.

March 30

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference / Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference

See results.

First Round Recap

March 25

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference, round one… See results.

March 26

Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference, round one… See results.

March 27

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference… See results.

March 28

Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference… See results.

VOTE FOR THE WORST HUMAN - AWFUL 8

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2015 Worst Human March Madness Poll: Vote On The Shit 16

Vote to determine the worst human

Vote to determine the worst human

UPDATE: Results for The Shit 16 round:

Texting while driving is worse than road rage drivers… 84-16%
Frequent selfie taking is worse than Facebook game inviting… 58-42%
Not covering your mouth while coughing is worse than throwing garbage on the ground… 63-37%
Aggressively bad tipping is worse than standing too close to you in the ATM line… 63-37%
Telling you to smile more is worse than using words incorrectly… 56-44%
Crossfit cultists are worse than panicking when it snows… 56-44%
Smelling like pee is worse than unusually toxic farts… 69-31%
Not actually being gluten allergic is worse than being a messy eater… 67-33%

———–

The polls have closed on round two voting in the Interactions, Physical World, Human Body Conference and Food & Drink Conferences (LINK TO RESULTS BELOW). This means we’re getting down to the seriously Worst Humans… The Shit 16.

This also means it’s time to start voting on the eight matchups that encompass The Shit 16:

Road rage drivers vs. Texting while driving
Frequent selfie takers vs. Facebook game inviters
Coughing and not covering your mouth vs. Throwing garbage on the ground
Standing too close in the ATM line vs. Aggressively bad tippers
Tells you to smile more vs. People who use words incorrectly
Panics when it snows vs. Crossfit cultists
Smells like pee vs. Unusually toxic farts
Messy eaters vs. Not actually gluten allergic

Got an opinion on who you think is the worst human? The polls are now open, so vote on it…

VOTE FOR THE WORST HUMAN - SHIT 16 ROUND

Click the image directly below to see the full Worst Human bracket (current to March 31, 2015).

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

The Shit 16 Voting Schedule

March 31

Voting begins at midnight, ends at 11:59 pm ET

Second Round Recap

March 29

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference / Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference

See results.

March 30

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference / Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference

See results.

First Round Recap

March 25

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference, round one… See results.

March 26

Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference, round one… See results.

March 27

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference… See results.

March 28

Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference… See results.

VOTE FOR THE WORST HUMAN - SHIT 16 ROUND

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VOTE NOW: 2015 Worst Human March Madness Playdown – More Round 2

Vote to determine the worst human

Vote to determine the worst human

UPDATE: Results for Interactions, Physical World, Human Body Conference and Food & Drink Conferences, round 2:

Telling you to smile more is worse than being a nosy neighbour … 54-46%
Using words incorrectly is worse than yelling a lot … 51-49%
Panicking when it snows is worse than having a large backpack … 54-46%
Crossfit cultists are worse than snickering teenagers… 66-34%
Smelling like pee is worse than chewing loudly … 80-20%
Unusually toxic farts are worse than dandruff … 57-43%
Messy eaters are worse than coffee breath … 63-37%
Not actually being gluten allergic is worse than only drinking bottled water … 60-40%

The Shit 16 matchups will be:

Tells you to smile more vs. People who use words incorrectly
Panics when it snows vs. Crossfit cultists
Smells like pee vs. Unusually toxic farts
Messy eaters vs. Not actually gluten allergic

—–

With the polls closed on the Transportation, Social Media, Unclean and Money & Commerce Conferences, we’re halfway done the Worst Human second round matchups. LINK TO RESULTS BELOW.

This means it’s time to start voting on the next eight matchups in the following Conferences: Interactions, Physical World, Human Body, Food & Drink.

Voting has officially begun. So, VOTE…

VOTE FOR THE WORST HUMAN - 2nd Round, part 2

Click the image directly below to see the full Worst Human bracket (current to March 29, 2015).

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

Second Round Voting Schedule

March 29

Voting begins at midnight, ends at 11:59 pm ET

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference / Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference

See results.

March 30

Voting begins at midnight, ends at 11:59 pm ET

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference / Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference

First Round Recap

March 25

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference, round one… See results.

March 26

Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference, round one… See results.

March 27

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference… See results.

March 28

Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference… See results.

VOTE FOR THE WORST HUMAN - 2nd Round, part 2

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VOTE NOW: 2015 Worst Human March Madness Playdown – Round 2

Vote to determine the worst human

Vote to determine the worst human

UPDATE: Results for Transportation, Social Media, Unclean and Money & Commerce Conferences, round 2:

Road rage drivers are worse than slow walkers … 71-29%
Texting while driving is worse than always being late … 71-29%
Frequent selfie taking is worse than oversharing … 65-35%
Facebook game inviters are worse than people who use #blessed unironically… 65-35%
Coughing and not covering your mouth is worse than public toilet hover shitting … 59-41%
Throwing your garbage on the ground is worse than smelling like cigarettes… 82-18%
Standing too close in the ATM line is worse than being rich and pretending you’re not … 65-35%
Aggressively bad tippers are worse than people with 20 items in the 10-or-less line … 59-41%

The Shit 16 matchups will be:

Road rage drivers vs. Texting while driving
Frequent selfie takers vs. Facebook game inviters
Coughing and not covering your mouth vs. Throwing garbage on the ground
Standing too close in the ATM line vs. Aggressively bad tippers

——

Now things get real.

Voting for the 2015 Worst Human competition, Round 1, in the Human Body Conference and the Food & Drink Conference is now done. LINK TO RESULTS BELOW.

We have now entered into the second round, which means voting on the next eight matchups in the following: Transportation Conference, Social Media Conference, Unclean Conference, Money & Commerce. Conference

Voting has officially begun. So, VOTE…

VOTE FOR THE WORST HUMAN - 2nd Round

Click the image directly below to see the full Worst Human bracket (current to March 29, 2015).

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

2015 Worst Human bracket. Click to enlarge.

Second Round Voting Schedule

March 29

Voting begins at midnight, ends at 11:59 pm ET

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference / Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference

March 30

Voting begins at midnight, ends at 11:59 pm ET

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference / Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference

First Round Recap

March 25

Transportation Conference / Social Media Conference, round one… See results.

March 26

Unclean Conference / Money & Commerce Conference, round one… See results.

March 27

Interactions Conference / Physical World Conference… See results.

March 28

Human Body Conference / Food & Drink Conference… See results.

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