Jon Jones kicks Lyoto Machida
UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon “Bones” Jones beat the snot out of challenger Lyoto Machida last night at UFC 140 in Toronto.
Part of the reason for his victory? Hanging around in the Ball’s Falls Conservation Area in the Niagara region.
That’s right “Ball’s Falls.”
Huh. Huh. Balls.
The toughest man in the world* went to the conservation park in Lincoln, Ontario, about an hour southeast of Toronto, for a session of pre-match meditation.
Said Jones at a press conference after UFC 140, “It was really beautiful, but it was so cold out there I could only mediate for about maybe 15 minutes because I didn’t want to get sick. I’m standing next to this waterfall to the side of this like stream. It was just so cold, it was way colder by the water.
Ball's Falls lower falls (Ball drop falls?)
“I got a good 12 minutes in but the job was done. We felt really refreshed and our spirits were lifted on the ride back to the hotel. So mission complete.”
What we want to know is, was this at the scenic lower falls section? And was Jones inspired by the exposed Silurian and Ordovician rock strata he could see there? In fact, if he was so inspired, is he really a normal human? Or is he some earth elemental druid warrior who has manifested to show us the true path?
And what about the poor Conservation Authority staff? They mostly just have to deal with the bridezillas who rent out The Big Barn. What’s going to happen this summer when a bunch of pilgrims in Tapout shirts start Mecca-ing their way to Ball’s Falls to “Ommmm” under trees.
It’s all your fault Jon Jones.
* GSP’s hurt, Anderson Silva’s getting old, and Jose Aldo’s a relative runt, so yeah, Jones’ is totally the toughest, well, not counting Junior Dos Santos.
Also, Jones’ last three wins were all against ex-champs — Machida, Rampage Jackson and Shogun Rua — he’s facing top guys, not whoever’s left in the division, so that counts for something, too.