British Chocolate Bars, Graded

This summer I went to England to help the Polaris Music Prize curate a big Canada 150 concert in London’s Trafalgar Square.

On this whirlwind trip I tried as many stereotypical English delights as possible — pies, late night curries, pints, etc — but the thing I hit with the most crushing frequency were the chocolate bars.

Any time I had too much change jingling in my pockets it was straight to the hotel vending machine or the local shop to buy another bar to try.

I graded these chocolate experiences along the way.

Here’s what I got:

Galaxy Caramel Collection, Smooth Caramel

“Smooth and creamy Galaxy chocolate with luscious caramel.”

GRADE: C+

Cadbury Wispa Gold

“A delightful rush of tonnes of tiny chocolatey bubbles, layered with golden caramel and covered in smooth Cadbury milk chocolate!”

GRADE: B-

Maltesers

“The lighter way to enjoy chocolate.”

GRADE: B+

KitKat

“Real Milk Chocolate, Light Tasting Crispy Wafers, Quality in Every Bite. Have a Break, Have a Kit Kat.”

GRADE: B+

Twirl

“Two fingers of indulgent chocolatey swirls, wrapped in smooth Cadbury milk chocolate that melt in your mouth as the twirling ribbons unfold!”

GRADE: A+

Dairy Milk

“Our classic bar of deliciously creamy Cadbury Dairy Milk milk chocolate, made with fresh milk from the British Isles and Ireland. A mouthful of ‘mmmm’ in every piece!”

GRADE: B-

Shortcake Snack

“Snackable squares of delicious shortcake biscuit, covered with smooth Cadbury milk chocolate for a perfect biscuity bite!”

GRADE: C

Kinder Bueno Milk & Hazelnut

“Bueno is a delicate chocolate bar with an indulgent taste. Each melt-in-the-mouth piece promises creamy hazelnut, smooth chocolate and crispy wafer for you to enjoy.”

GRADE: B-

Revels

“Discover the chocolate world Revels, enjoy everything from the ‘fun stuff’ to whats is in the range.”

GRADE: C+

Yorkie

“It’s not for girls”

GRADE: C+

Toffee Crisp

“The delicious combination of biscuit, crispy cereal and caramel all covered in chocolate makes Toffee Crisp a biscuit your family will love.”

GRADE: inconclusive, forgot to write it down

Double Decker

“A contrasting combination of crispy cereal and soft, pillowy nougat, layered up and coated in smooth Cadbury milk chocolate, giving you two bars in one!”

GRADE: inconclusive, forgot to write it down

So there you go. Twirl is the best British chocolate bar. Feel free to pick me up a few if you’re ever in the U.K.