Tasseomancy
Earlier this month, we told you that Aaron’s review of twin sister gloomy art rock duo Tasseomancy’s (née Ghost Bees) new album, Ulalume, had been published in the latest issue of Rue Morgue Magazine.
Now, we’re usually very supportive of each other’s writing endeavors, but I have to confess that I was a little disappointed with this particular review. Aaron likes to think that he’s some sort of expert on morbid young women because he’s listened to so many of their musical projects and because he married one.
But the only people who can truly understand and explain morbid young women are their fellow sisters of darkness. I tried to help Aaron when he was writing the review, but he refused to listen to me. Here are some of the ideas that he rejected:
– Sari and Romy Lightman are a pair of Emily Stranges for the non-dilletante.
– Imagine Wednesday Adams with a sister instead of that idiot Pugsly.
– Dead Ringers for girls.
– Something about Brian De Palma’s Sisters that I couldn’t fully formulate.
– Tasseomancy are the duo that Laura Palmer and Madeleine Ferguson would have formed if BOB hadn’t gotten to them first.
– Holy crap! The conjoined twins from Carnivàle traveled to the future and separated! Sadly, the surgery may have cost them their contortion skills.
– Ulalume sounds like it was crafted by people who spent many carefree childhood days memorizing the words to Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Bells.”
– Ulalume sounds like a musical version of that episode of Night Gallery when the woman keeps having a dream that a stranger is coming to her door, and then, one time, she finally opens the door and realizes that the scary person is herself.
– It’s a little-known fact that Liv Ullmann’s character in The Hour Of The Wolf was actually pregnant with Sari and Romy Lightman.
– Imagine Ingmar Bergman’s Persona as a jam session.
– A Tasseomancy album is reminiscent of Black Swan, if you removed all six thousand of Vincent Cassel’s monologues about how the white swan is pure and the black swan is sexual and raw and Natalie Portman is really good at being the perfect and virginal white swan, but he doesn’t know if she can be the provocative black swan, because she’s so white and pure like the white swan and not at all like the sexually bold black swan.
Risky Fuel 